Coping
Every day is still hard, everyday pretty much feels like it has just happened.
I miss you both so much but who do I speak to, I want to talk to my sister but i dont want her to worry about me as every time see her i know when she looks at me i can see that she worries alot.
I want to speak to my uncles my i am scared they wont understand what i am going thru.
At times i feel like i just want to scream and cry and cause pain and unleash anger at any one. I know that doing any of this will not bring my parents.
All i do know is i have lost all faith in god i asked twice for him to swap me with my parents so i am in pain and i am where they are s they can live on but both times they denied me that right.
They say god listens to everything you say and will help, i can say for a fact that is not true and never will be.
I cannot say how long it will take for me to get over it and move on, maybe i wont and thats what scares me the most.
I walk in to the house eveyday and expect to hear my mum and dads voice, but i dont.
I leave the house in a big mess and expect to hear them shout at me or ring me and say why have you not cleaned up after yourself.
I leave the dishes and expect to a get a call saying the dishes will be in your room as you did not wash them.
all the little things that you miss when your loved ones depart..
I miss you both like crazy and going to family functions makes it so hard for me that i cant bear it at times..
I know soon us three will be together again and i will be so glad to see you both again.
Love your son x
